A Few Thoughts On College

An incomplete collection of musings on community, personal growth, and education

The Bluff

The sun was setting, and we did not have any cell service. I kept glancing into the rear view mirror hoping that my friend’s blue Prius would appear. 

The night before, six of us had decided to go camping in Joshua Tree over the long weekend. Twelve hours later we rented some camping gear and set out on the I-10 East. Predictably, we were behind schedule, and our two-car caravan had gotten separated. As the only one with much camping experience, I was not looking forward to trying to find each other and a spot to set up camp in the dark. 

Somehow, we did find each other and a place to pitch our tent. It turned out to be a non-issue, and we even grilled up a few bacon-wrapped hotdogs over our campfire while gazing at the stars. Despite the bacon being burnt to a crisp and the hotdogs only getting luke-warm, we felt triumphant. Howling coyotes, an odd park ranger, and a “mountain lion” (the product of a friend’s runaway imagination) could not dampen the spirit. 

“This is the life.” 

My college experience was like our trip to Joshua Tree: sort-of planned, full of great people, and flawed yet fulfilling. College had a way of making seemingly serious concerns and worries laughable a few short months later. 

I am no expert on college, and I can only share from my own experience. That being said, I think college can be a transformational experience, and I have a few thoughts on what impacted my college years for the better and for the worse. Some of my thoughts are more developed while others can hardly be called thoughts. I hope you find some of them interesting and potentially helpful. I welcome debate or pushback on any of the following points. 

The Work Gets Done

I hated syllabus week. At the start of every semester, I would collect my syllabuses and begin adding them to my planner. In spite of being familiar with this experience, I would begin to feel overwhelmed. Each semester I thought, “I don’t know how I can get all this done.” 

Somehow, I found each semester that the work gets done. The time I spent worrying about it was natural but entirely unnecessary. I was committed to doing the work, and I did it. Even though it got assigned all at once, I had a whole semester to complete it. As is often noted, “We overestimate what we can do in the short-term, but we underestimate what we can accomplish in the long-term.” I found this to be particularly true in college. 

Just Start

On that note, I found that the best remedy for anxiety about the workload was to just start. Over my four years, I rarely found a project to be more difficult than I anticipated. I think our minds have a tendency to exaggerate the unknown, and the exaggerations grow larger the longer a project or a problem is left unknown. 

Some projects do take significant time and energy, but I generally have found that the work is not as unbearable as it feels before I start. Unfortunately, “just starting” was not a solution to chronically underestimating the time necessary for completing a project. By the end of college, I learned to double all my estimates.

The Magic Of Choosing To “Waste” Time

This might seem to contradict my previous thought (Just Start), but it does not. The important part of this insight is “choose.” I never once regretted taking a walk outside, giving someone a call, or heading down to the beach to enjoy the sunset. Somehow, the work always seemed easier after I had chosen to take a break. I know part of the benefit was related to the breaks being stress-relieving, but I think that choosing to take a break reminded me that I was in control of my time. I could choose to take a break, and when I returned to an assignment, I was choosing to get the work done. It reminded me that I was not a slave to the work, and that I was doing the work because ultimately I wanted to do it. 

75 Degrees & Sunny

Nothing solicited eye rolls from my friends like this statement. Freshman year whenever I was asked how I was doing, I would start by responding, “It’s seventy-five degrees and sunny…another beautiful day in Southern California.” 

Obviously, some days were better than others, but that habit helped me to start with gratitude. Perspective is not everything in life, but I found it had a much bigger impact than I tended to think.

Conversations Power Me

It would be hard to overstate how grateful I am for the people who are willing to listen to my rants and ramblings. I feel particularly bad for the people who have had to hear the same points on Jim Collins, investing, the inefficiency of higher education, and Merlyn over and over again. 

That being said, nothing gives me energy like a good conversation, particularly the ones that are actually conversations. When I shut up and leave space for conversation, I learn so much and leave feeling rejuvenated. 

Be Interested, Not Interesting

I am troubled, however, by my tendency to dominate the conversation in certain settings. I find that I talk the most in settings where I should be listening the most. 

Jim Collins, one of my favorite authors/thinkers, once recounted the story of a mentor telling him, “Jim, it seems to be that you spend too much effort trying to be interesting. You should direct your efforts towards being interested.”

I think about this a lot. Almost all of my favorite conversations in college started with a question rather than a bold statement.

Show Up Early, Pack Up Slowly

I will admit it. Sometimes this practice leads to awkward conversations, but that is a small price to pay for the benefits. First, showing up early meant that I could take my time getting set up for class. Instead of being out of breath and scatterbrained as class started, I was prepared to begin. Second, and more importantly, it meant that I could develop relationships with my classmates and my professor. A couple of friendships that I expect to last for years were a result of pre- and post-class small talk. That is despite my natural aversion to small talk. By showing up early and seeing the same people, I felt more comfortable talking with them as the semester wore on.

In addition to building relationships with my classmates, showing up early sometimes meant getting a chance to talk with the professor. I found that most professors loved interacting with students, and when I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked them a question before class, I never regretted it.

I assume a lot of people would say that showing up early is a key to success in college, but I doubt many would say the same about packing up slowly. It shares the benefits of showing up early, but it also allowed me to listen in on my classmates’ post-class questions. A lot of people ask good questions, and I regularly found myself thinking, “I’m so glad she asked that.” Packing up slowly allowed me to hear answers to all the questions that I was not smart enough to ask. 

Say Hi

Excluding extreme circumstances, saying “hi” is never the wrong choice. Walking across campus multiple times a day meant walking by people I knew multiple times a day. I often regretted not acknowledging someone I knew as I walked by. I cannot remember ever regretting waving at someone I knew…aside from momentary embarrassment if they did not see me. 

Topple The Guillotines

I came up with this phrase senior year. It is not historically or mechanically accurate, but it worked for me.

I imagined the deadline of assignments, papers, and projects as the blade of a guillotine slowly but steadily descending towards me. I always found a way to slip my head out right before the deadline would have decapitated me, but it was not a pleasant experience. I decided I no longer wanted to escape the guillotines in the nick of time. Instead, I would get the work done while the blade was still high and “topple the guillotine.” 

Rather than having the impending deadlines hanging over me as I tried to enjoy myself, I would knock out the assignment and move on with my life. 

I know it is silly, but like I said, it worked for me…perhaps because I have an irrational fear of guillotines. 

The First Few Weeks Are Confusing, Push Through

The first few weeks at college and each job and internship have been confusing and fairly stressful for me. The change, new expectations, and new people all combine to heighten the stress, and I found that there was generally sparse feedback during the first few weeks. Despite the stress, I always eventually settled in. I realized that a stressful few weeks were just part of starting something new, and that I needed to push through rather than immediately making judgements about the situation. 

The first few weeks have become a bit less stressful now that I know what to expect. 

Craisins & Peanuts

Things did not always go my way, and I would guess that they do not always go your way. Freshman year, I moved in with a big bag of craisins and a large jar of peanuts from Costco. I bought them because I liked to snack on them. Unexpectedly, they soon started serving the much more important role of steady companion and encourager on the tough days. Chomping on some salted peanuts and tossing a few handfuls of craisins into my mouth may not have been the most logical response to disappointment, but somehow it worked for me. Life is not perfect, but I can always grab a snack, take a deep breath, think through something, go for a walk, and talk it out. 

Find Your People

I think “finding your people” is one of the necessary ingredients for a good college experience. Find the people you enjoy being around, and you can “be yourself” around. College is too long to put on a charade. I am not saying that growing or aspiring to be a better person is wrong, but do not get that confused with consistently acting like someone else to fit in.

Finding your people does not always happen immediately or all at once, and early on I think it is important to spend time with a lot of different people. It is really hard to know if someone is someone that you would enjoy spending time with until you spend time with that person. Not everyone you meet will be your best friend, but you will not meet your best friend unless you meet people. 

College is an awesome experience because there are all sorts of people who are interested in all sorts of things. I found that I had a group of people for all the different things I enjoyed. I had people that I could discuss finance with, people I could watch NBA games with, people I could talk philosophy with, people I could play beach volleyball with, and people I could do it all with. 

I think all of this is true in life as well, but I found college made it easy to make friends in a variety of settings. 

Find A Church

Before I started college, I read an article that emphasized the importance of choosing a church alongside choosing a college. At the time, it made sense to me, and I expected to be actively involved in a church during my four years at college. 

When I arrived at LMU, I bounced around between a few churches trying to find the right fit. I ended up fairly regularly attending a church that was a significant drive from campus. 

Reflecting on that decision, I have come to the conclusion that it was not the right decision. Due to the distance and the culture of the church, getting involved was harder than I anticipated. Rather than putting in the extra effort, I was complacent and just drifted in the background at this church. This made it easy to miss a Sunday from time to time when I was tired or had a lot of work to get done. It also meant that I was not building community. 

The pandemic did not help the situation as it entailed moving to different cities for a few months at a time, but I would be lying to myself if I said that was the reason for my lack of involvement in a local church. 

Being involved in a local church is worth the effort, and not being involved is my biggest regret from college. If I could do it over, I would place a higher emphasis on finding a place where I could commit and get involved.

4 Years Is A Long Time, People Change

First impressions matter, but four years is a long time. Do not write people off because of a bad first impression. People change, and I found that a lot of cool friendships developed later in college that probably would not have if either of us let first impressions get in the way. 

Give grace and let people, including yourself, grow and mature in college.

Find Your Partner

No, I am not talking about your life partner. You need to find your group project partner. 

Group work was celebrated at college, particularly in the business school. Many professors say that the point of group projects is to learn how to work with all sorts of people. They explain, “In the real world, you will have to work with people you do not always get along with.” 

It is undoubtably true that you will get stuck working with annoying people from time to time. The more important lesson taught by group projects, however, is that working with a good group is 100x better than working with a bad group.

In my opinion, group projects in college teach the valuable lesson that finding who you work best with and partnering with them significantly improves your experience and results. If you can, prioritize finding great partners and groups. I know that I will for the rest of my life (at work, at church, while volunteering). 

Often, the best answer is finding new group mates, not trying to fix your current situation. Like I said, working with the right group is so much better than working in a bad group. The difference is almost unbelievable. 

That is not to say that the grass is always greener on the other side. If you never find any situations that work well, you may have to look yourself in the mirror (like I did my freshman year). Also, sometimes you have to stick around in a situation because of other factors (e.g. a school assignment, working toward a promotion, the group dynamics are bad but better than alternatives).

While I was in college, I was part of great groups and not-so-great groups. A few people and I discovered that we worked well together, and we went so far as to coordinate our schedules for a couple semesters to end up in the same classes and team up for the group projects.

Just having one great partner in a larger group could make all the difference. It was always great when I was in a group with one of my favorite partners because we could back each other up and push the group in the right direction. Most group projects just need a little push to get moving towards the goal. Being on the same page with someone is invaluable when trying to complete a project effectively and efficiently. 

Learn To Lead

On that note, group projects in college are a great place to practice leadership. The stakes are low even if it does not feel like it at the time. In most group projects, people are looking for direction.

I do not mean that you should immediately grab control over a group, ensure that your voice is the loudest, and begin dictating orders to your group mates. Instead, leading in a small group can take the form of asking good questions, clarifying the assignment directions, and amplifying the voices of quieter members of your group. 

I made mistakes, but I learned a ton. Taking on the leader role sometimes meant giving better parts of the assignment to others, deferring to others’ strengths, and accepting criticism. Still, it was such an amazing learning experience. I learned the types of environments where I should lead, the situations where I should take a back seat, the style I would use, and new ways to communicate. 

I think you would be hard-pressed to find a place where there are more opportunities to lead that has as much forgiveness for mistakes as college.

Get What You Want Out Of College

A lot of reasonable people these days are asking whether college is worth the price and the time. I think it is a fair question. Between rising tuition costs, bloated bureaucracy, and many graduates struggling to figure out post-college life, it would appear that college is no longer all that it claims.

That is precisely the issue in my estimation. Many colleges claim to provide a disparate, and sometimes contradictory, set of outcomes. I’ve listed a few of the typical claims:

- Liberal arts education

- Well-rounded person

- Job opportunities

- Technical skills

- Smooth transition to adulthood

- Industry required credentials

- Unparalleled networking

- Research opportunities

- “The college experience”

- Academic rigor

- A place to experiment

- The chance to follow your passion

It is great that institutions are offering these services. I am less than convinced, however, that each college should be claiming to offer all of these services simultaneously. For instance, it seems wrong that someone hoping to develop technical skills in pursuit of a specific career would have an identical track as someone seeking to explore the origin of an academic field and study its development. 

Higher education has become too much of a one-size-fits-all assembly line. For a place that is supposed to value intellectual curiosity and personal growth, college instead practices heavily structured study and conformity. There is ultimately a misalignment between higher education’s values and its policies. The bureaucracy, cookie cutter classes, and lack of imagination work to dismantle higher education’s values. Rather than supporting students’ aspirations, many current policies make it harder to achieve goals. 

Is there a solution? 

Not a perfect one, but I think if you can start to figure out what you want out of college, you can succeed despite the headwinds. Good places to start include finding the great professors who will support you, getting a taste of different fields, and having conversations with people who are out of college. I found that talking with people who were three, ten, twenty, forty years older than me was invaluable as I began to figure out what was next for me.

Outside of the steps you can take to mitigate the effects of a flawed system, what needs to happen is a wide-spread change in higher education philosophy. Not every university can be everything to everyone. Universities, colleges, and particular programs need to be clear about what they value and actually support those values, attracting the types of students that want what that university has to offer. It seems obvious to me that crafting different programs for students who want technical skills, students who want a liberal arts education, and students who want an industry credential would be better than claiming that someone can get all three from the same exact program. 

The current debate around the problems with colleges tends to pit groups against each other. Some say that everyone should just get a technical education. Others say that a liberal arts education is the right path. I tend to believe that both are valuable. Part of growing up and assessing your life should include determining which route is for you. 

Try A Lot, Focus On Less

Part of the answer to “what do I want out of college,” is found by trying a lot, especially early on. I changed my major before I started at LMU, changed it again and added a double major and a minor my freshman year, and dropped one of my majors my junior year. I learned to juggle at the juggling club and then never returned. I participated in start-up weekend my freshman year and attended a few entrepreneurship society events but did not stick around. If you had to pin me down freshman year on what I would be doing post-college, I might have suggested “consulting.” Honestly, that was the perfect answer because it was both vague enough to not commit to anything and not interesting enough to prompt further discussion of my career aspirations. 

The point is that I had no idea what I was doing. I tried a lot, had a variety of jobs in different fields, attempted new hobbies, and pretty much just threw things at the wall to see what stuck. 

I was not completely lost, though. I approached my experimentation with a high degree of self-observation. 

I asked myself: What did I enjoy from the past week? Why? What did I not enjoy? Why? How do I fill my time with more of what I enjoy? How do I remove the things I did not enjoy? How sure am I that I do not enjoy that? Was it just a bad one-off experience? What are some similar things to things I enjoy? How can I try those? Who might have some suggestions or advice for me?

That might sound a little pretentious and robotic. Do not worry, I would not actually go through these questions line-by-line, though that might work for some. I would spend time reflecting, praying, talking with friends, and thinking through my recent activities. Ultimately, the result of all that served to answer the questions I laid out above.

Despite continuing to experiment (I became a beginner skier and surfer my last year), I naturally began to focus as time progressed. Over my last two years, I spent more time in the finance department. I learned about investment banking and what it would take to reach that goal. I realized that my time was valuable, and that I needed to say “no” to certain things in order to spend more time doing the things that were most important to me. 

I think early on in college there is a pressure to show that you have it figured out. I know I felt it. Despite the pressure and the apparent confidence of your classmates, do not rush the experimentation phase. In my opinion, many people jump straight to the focus phase without developing the desire to focus in that area. Focus and time commitment come naturally when you discover something you enjoy. 

Experiment, ask questions, make observations, and keep trying new things. Do not stress about finding the “one thing” to which you will devote your life. Do not put too much pressure on immediately devoting yourself to one thing once you discover some enjoyment or aptitude for it. Let passion and focus develop naturally. Sometimes it will hit you unexpectedly. 

Make Room For Surprises

I debated whether to title this section “Make Room For Surprises” or “Leave Room For Surprises.” I decided to go with the more active version because as I assessed my own experience, I think the surprises generally were made possible by previous decisions.

First, what do I mean by “Make Room For Surprises?” College is full of surprises. It is hard to predict what each day will bring, and college can be a grand adventure if you let it. I think you should shape your environment to generate as many positive surprises as you can. Despite my tendency to be a planner, I found that surprises added a joy and depth to my college experience that would have been impossible to plan.

I would break my surprises into two general categories: fun and professional/academic.

A few examples of the fun surprises included getting invited on a last minute night hike one Thursday freshman year, going to see Dune senior year at 11:00 pm on a Tuesday, ordering a pancake pizza on GrubHub (again, late at night), and having a couple classmates become part of our beach volleyball crew.

A few examples of the professional/academic surprises were having a spontaneous hour-long conversation with a professor after our first class meeting freshman year, joining the Student Investment Fund, and working closely with a professor on legal research for multiple years.

I call all of these experiences surprises because I would not have predicted them. Many of them also are somewhat contrary to my typical life. As much as it may surprise you, I am usually in bed at 2am, not polishing off a bag of peanut M&Ms at the local Cinemark. 

For the fun surprises, I would say that I made space for them by being open to doing things. I worked to cultivate a reputation for being up for hanging out. I also tried to not get behind on assignments so that I could say “yes.” I did not want to feel like I had to say “no” because I had to finish a paper. It also took courage to ask my classmates if they wanted to head to the beach with my friends and I on Friday afternoon. I expected that they would have plans, but I was pleasantly surprised when they enthusiastically joined us. Even better and perhaps more surprising, they became good friends.

For the professional/academic surprises, the post-class conversation was a result of packing up slowly. I was listening in on other students’ questions and was about to leave when the professor surprised me and asked why I was sticking around. I replied that I was just curious about the question my classmate had asked, and that I did not have any particular question myself. I expected that to be the end of it, but, to my surprise, the professor launched into a conversation asking about my major and interests. I ended up taking two additional classes and having countless discussions with that professor, due in part to that first surprise conversation.

Due to a clerical error and my own absentmindedness, I missed the deadline for applying to the Student Investment Fund despite intending to. By the time I had figured it out, they had already selected the group. I assumed it would be futile, but I decided to send an email to the professor that ran the program. In the email, I practically made the decision for him, giving him every opportunity to deny me. To my great surprise, he told me that I should send him an application, and he would let me know shortly. By the end of the week, I was part of the team. I made room for that surprise by sending the email and by having cultivated a strong reputation in the finance program. Still, it was a complete surprise to me that I was admitted.

A couple months into my freshman year, I started looking for an on-campus job. I had some extra time, and I thought some money in the pocket would be nice. I applied for a role in the business school as a research assistant and got it. When I started, I discovered it actually consisted of putting up posters, cutting bread (who would have thought?), and making copies. I did not really mind, though, because those tasks generally took a limited amount of time. For the rest of my hours, I sat at a desk and was paid to chat with the office administrator and work on homework. It was not a bad gig. 

That changed one day when the professor who I was technically assigned to entered the office with a request. He wanted me to find a quote of an auto executive so that he could properly cite it. I went through a number of transcripts and interviews but could not find the quote. I emailed him a list of quotes that were close to the one he was looking for, but I was disappointed that I failed in the assignment. 

To my surprise, he walked into the office during my next shift and claimed that it was some of the best work he had seen. For the next three years, my paid homework time disappeared as I found myself working closely with this professor on a variety of interesting projects that I would never have known about had it not been for doing my best (aka failing) on a one-off assignment he gave me. 

To sum it up, it is almost impossible to predict when and where the impactful situations will arrive in college, but it is possible and important to create the conditions that put yourself in those situations (i.e. make room for surprises).

Final Thoughts

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it, and I hope you will let me know if you disagree with any of my observations, or if any of them resonate with you. I am hoping to be surprised by a number of interesting conversations that result from posting my thoughts.

I know it has been a while since I last posted. That had not been my intention, but I had to prioritize a few other things. For the first post back, I did not want to delve into the last year, but I think I will soon. I cannot guarantee anything, though. This site has lost any semblance of a schedule. 

Forever grateful and humbled that you would give me your attention,

Ian