2 Ways to Improve Your Conversations
One common complaint that I hear is from people who say that others do not give them their full attention in conversations. This week my solution to that problem is to share two ways that you can avoid being someone who does not give others your full attention.
It is frustrating when the other person is valuing something on their phone more than the conversation with you. There is so much disappointment when this happens while you are meeting with someone who you look up to. Do not make the mistake of crushing someone who looks up to you. Reject the temptation to split your focus.
The two ways you can prevent this are:
1. Put the phone away
2. Schedule buffer time
Put the Phone Away
The phone is the single biggest cause of split focus. There is an endless amount of things you can do once you pick up your phone. A quick glance at social media can turn into an email check, a review of a new information, and then possibly even a phone call.
When phones are out, continuity is prevented in the conversation. The rhythm is thrown off by buzzes, rings, and “quick glances.” It is hard for the conversation to reach any depth.
If at all possible, resist the urge to open the phone while you are waiting for the person you are meeting with. Aside from the possibility of getting sucked into something time-consuming on your device, phone use will cloud your mind with unrelated information prior to your meeting.
Schedule Buffer Time
One of the best ways to ensure that you can focus your attention is to build buffer time into your day. Avoid scheduling meetings back to back or with an inadequate amount of time. Ten to fifteen minutes between events on your calendar will increase your ability to direct your full attention to each activity.
This is not to say do not stick with your schedule. This buffer time is not to extend the length of your meetings, but rather to allow you to clear your mind, tie up any loose ends, and make any necessary checks of messages.
In fact, for this to work effectively you must stick to your schedule religiously. It is often prudent to let the person you are meeting with know precisely when the meeting must end.
If you hold to your schedule, you will reap the rewards of the buffer time. It will be easier to put the phone away during the conversation because you will have done all the checking necessary during the buffer time. Additionally, you will not be late, which gets the meeting off to a good start. Being late immediately gives the impression that you do not value the meeting.
The magic of the buffer time is that you can set your mind at ease. Your next activity does not have to be impeded due to your attention still being focused on your last activity. The buffer time allows you to effectively transition between two unrelated meetings.
Final Thoughts
Be the type of person that people rave about. Be the type of person that people look forward to meeting with because they know they will have your full attention. You will become one of those people that is so uplifting to be around. It is energizing and inspiring to converse with someone who is entirely interested in the present conversation.